Let's talk about primary childhood wounds

Lise Bourbeau is a Canadian therapist and writer, internationally recognised for her focus on personal development and emotional healing. She's the founder of the "Ecoute Ton Corps" school (Listen to Your Body), one of the largest personal development schools in Canada. She's written more than 25 books, the most influential being "Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self", originally published in 2000.

Lise Bourbeau identifies five emotional wounds that originate in childhood and that deeply influence our personality and relationships:

Bourbeau proposes that each wound generates a "mask" we use to protect ourselves from the pain, but that also pushes us away from our true essence. Her method is based on self-observation, acceptance and body-emotional work to heal these wounds. She offers practical exercises, reflections and techniques to begin a process of healing and reconnecting with oneself.

Below, I detail examples of exercises, reflections and techniques for each wound:

1. Wound of Rejection (Mask: Fleeing)

• Reflection: When have you felt invisible or unwanted? What part of yourself do you reject?
• Exercise: Write a letter to your "inner child" expressing total acceptance. Read it out loud in front of the mirror.
• Technique: Body presence meditation. Sit in silence and repeat: "I have the right to exist." You can place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.

2. Wound of Abandonment (Mask: Dependency)

• Reflection: What fear shows up when you're alone? What do you do to avoid loneliness?
• Exercise: Make a list of activities you enjoy on your own. Practice one every week.
• Technique: Guided visualisation: imagine holding yourself in your own arms, the way a loving caregiver would. You can repeat as a mantra: "I'm with you, I take care of you, I love you."

3. Wound of Humiliation (Mask: Masochism)

• Reflection: In what moments do you feel ashamed of your desires or needs?
• Exercise: Write about a situation where you felt humiliated, then rewrite it from a compassionate perspective.
• Technique: Affirm daily: "I deserve respect and pleasure without guilt."

4. Wound of Betrayal (Mask: Control)

• Reflection: What situations make you feel vulnerable or out of control?
• Exercise: Practice delegating a small task each day and observe your emotions.
• Technique: Trust journal: note down every time someone keeps a promise or supports you.

5. Wound of Injustice (Mask: Rigidity)

• Reflection: When do you demand perfection from yourself? What emotions do you suppress in order to "be fair"?
• Exercise: Do something spontaneous and "imperfect" (like painting without technique) and observe your reaction.
• Technique: Conscious breathing to release control. Inhale for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 6.

To finish, I invite you to put the following habits into daily practice:

Self-observation without judgement: Notice when you're acting from the mask.

Emotional acceptance: Allow yourself to feel without censoring.

Body work: Listen to the physical signals that accompany each wound.

Symbolic forgiveness: Write letters of forgiveness (not necessarily sent) to those who marked you.

Working with primary childhood wounds is a process. We improve our quality of life as we get to know our automatic responses and re-educate ourselves to respond in a different, kinder and more beneficial way.

Rewriting the inner narrative these wounds created is possible, and the first new idea you deserve to embrace when you choose to start this path is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.